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Listening to Neil Young at work - old stuff, "Harvest". I will never be able to hear Neil Young without thinking about you, hoping you're happy and have love in your life, wishing you hadn't faded so quietly away when I got married - you didn't have to, you know. I'm sitting here remembering all those weekends sitting in one bar or another, listening to the guys sing, writing you letters on napkins so you could experience vicariously what you were missing by living in New England at the time, remembering all those late-night phone calls to and from New England - never had a $200 phone bill till I met you! So many things run through my mind, but when I see them on paper they don't seem like anything special, so I erase them and keep them in my mind.
I wouldn't tell M, but I never doubt that at the end of my life (decades from now, I hope) I'll look back and still think of you as the best friend I ever had. Do you even know what an impact you've had on my life, the decisions I've made, the directions I've taken? The music I listen to! I don't think there's an area of my life that wasn't touched by you. That's not to say the M doesn't have an influence on my life - but I suspect you probably had more.
Would you believe me if I told you that now I'm glad we never had a romance, never went from friendship to dating? (Funny how so many people thought we were.) It's true - several years of hindsight tells me we wouldn't have gotten along well in that kind of relationship. I'm glad you were wise enough to see that when I wasn't, and I'm glad I met and married M. I'm happier with him than I think I would've been, in the long run, with you.
But I miss you sometimes, and I hope you're happy, I hope you found the love you were looking for, and I hope we meet again some day.
"How I wish you were here."
I wouldn't tell M, but I never doubt that at the end of my life (decades from now, I hope) I'll look back and still think of you as the best friend I ever had. Do you even know what an impact you've had on my life, the decisions I've made, the directions I've taken? The music I listen to! I don't think there's an area of my life that wasn't touched by you. That's not to say the M doesn't have an influence on my life - but I suspect you probably had more.
Would you believe me if I told you that now I'm glad we never had a romance, never went from friendship to dating? (Funny how so many people thought we were.) It's true - several years of hindsight tells me we wouldn't have gotten along well in that kind of relationship. I'm glad you were wise enough to see that when I wasn't, and I'm glad I met and married M. I'm happier with him than I think I would've been, in the long run, with you.
But I miss you sometimes, and I hope you're happy, I hope you found the love you were looking for, and I hope we meet again some day.
"How I wish you were here."
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