What Is Cold?

This is nothing new but it's still funny. (I've seen "Michigan" substituted for "Indiana" as well.) Check out, in particular, "10 degrees below zero." It's really true. It was that cold when the Girl Scouts were selling cookies last month. (Ok, so her dad posted a flyer to the pop cooler door at work - but it was still Girl Scout cookies and it was still that cold.) The first 3 or 4 are true too. Honest!

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COLD IS A RELATIVE THING. .


65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Indiana plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Indiana sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Indiana drive with the windows down..

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Indiana throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Indiana have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Hoosiers close the windows.

Zero:
Texans fly away to Mexico .
People in Indiana get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Indiana are selling
cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Indiana let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Hoosiers get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero :
ALL atomic motion stops .
People in Indiana start saying...
'Cold enough for ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Indiana public schools will
open 2 hours late.