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Actually, that should be "what a six weeks!"
With my unemployment just about to run out, I finally got a job doing data entry, second shift, for $8.40 an hour. That's actually less money that I was getting with unemployment! Still, it was more than nothing.
The second day of my job (a Friday; I started on a Thursday), my dad died and both my sisters and I, along with my brother-in-law, made a whirlwind trip to Texas for the funeral.
As far as funerals go, it was nice, if nice is a word one can use for funerals. My cousin Dave and his wife and (adult) son flew down from Michigan and my cousin Dan and his wife and (adult) daughter drove up from the Houston area, and my oldest niece flew in from college in Georgia. It was great having some blood relatives there with us; we needed that support. My step-mother (E), step-brother(K), step-sister (M) and her husband and five kids were there but we've never been close to them. (Just a little background - my mom left my dad when the three of us girls were all in our 20s. I don't think anyone really knows why, and I include my mom in that. She's since said, many times, that it was one of the worst decisions she'd ever made. Still, she made it, she married someone else, and so did my dad. Not someone we would've picked for him and honestly, I think if he'd waited a few more years, he probably would've picked someone different himself - but it wasn't, as far as I know, a bad marriage and I think he spent the last 16 years pretty happy.)
Anyway, that Monday, we met with their pastor at E's house, where we told him stories about growing up with my dad, talked about what songs to have at the funeral - and found out the E had a tape of dad singing! That was such a treat; dad sang all his life, as I think I mentioned earlier. The pastor then asked the three of us to write down some special memories so he could share them with the congregation at the funeral, and to ask the grandkids for some as well.
The viewing was Tuesday evening, by which time my Michigan cousins were there. That's when it was a real relief to have them, since so many of the Texas people didn't know us and we felt a bit on the fringes. It's hard to explain if you've never been in that situation, but it really does make a difference to have some blood relatives standing with you. (I think it might be different if you've been part of a blended family since childhood, but when you're an adult when it happens - and especially in our case, when we lived so far away and didn't see much of the step-siblings, etc. - it can be a bit awkward, even when you're trying not to let it be.) I was very reluctant to view dad's body in the coffin - it's been my experience that most people don't look very natural when they're laid out, no matter what the viewers all say as they're standing around - but the funeral home did an excellent job and he really did look like he was sleeping. In fact, it was probably the first time I'd seen him in quite awhile that he didn't have those tension lines that chronic pain lays on a person. (You get so used to seeing them that you don't notice them until they're gone.)
Tuesday evening my niece flew in and we (niece, sisters, cousins) all went to IHOP to sit up late and visit. That was very nice - in fact, the road trip itself was a lot of fun. I mentioned to my sisters that I was probably with the only people that could make a trip to my dad's funeral fun. My middle sister (P) replied, "Oh, no, any abnormal family could do it!" It makes me want to take more trips with them, only this time with the purpose of actually having fun, not having fun be sort of incidental.
The funeral was Wednesday morning, with a cold lunch at the church, then the burial in the afternoon at the National Cemetery in Dallas (E is a veteran and dad is buried in her plot). The first song (someone from the church sang the first and last song; it wasn't congregational singing - thank God! I always find that awkward and uncomfortable at a funeral) was "Love Lifted Me" (the hymn, not the Kenny Rogers song), which dad sang often around the house and occasionally as a solo at church. The minister spoke a bit, then let people in the congregation talk about dad if they wanted. (We didn't try - I'd have just stood there and cried and I'm sure my sisters and niece felt the same way.) That was great, hearing so many people say so many nice things about dad. Also, my cousin Dan spoke last. He said, "My name is Dan and Mr. B. was my uncle. I'm 56 years old, so I've known Uncle Jackie for 56 years, longer than anyone else in this room." I know it sounds a little spiteful for me to say I was glad to hear him point that out, but I was. The whole week had pretty much turned out to be all about E and she just kept talking about the past 16 years and completely ignored the fact that he was our dad for more than twice that time. (She never offered her condolences to my cousins or, for that matter, to my niece, to either of my sisters, or me. I understand she'd just lost her husband, but she seemed utterly incapable of looking beyond that fact for even a minute. In that aspect, she was completely unlike my father! Too bad that, in 16 years, none of his compassion and lack of self-centeredness managed to rub off on her. *sigh*) Anyway, Dan spoke a little further about dad going up to my Aunt Helen's house to eat supper with them sometimes when he was a teen. The next song was the tape of dad singing; the song was "There's a sweet, sweet Spirit in this place". Then the minister spoke a bit longer, there was a final song, then a final prayer and it was over.
That afternoon, after the burial, we had originally intended to stay at S-M's house till everyone who needed to be was ferried to the airport, but it got a little weird. When we got back, both my sisters and I had ridden with some of my step-nephews and -niece and got back first. The door had been left unlocked so people could get in, since we had to take several vehicles to the cemetery, and when we went to change our clothes, it was apparent that someone had been through our luggage. Nothing was missing and nothing obvious (tv, dvd player, computers, etc.) was missing from the house. When E and K got back, we told them right away. (K immediately said, "Oh, you must have been robbed." He didn't seem at all surprised. It was kind of...odd...they way he said it.) M returned then and she and E did a quick look-through and found nothing missing. At that point, P - the only one of us who's spent any amount of time with E, since she lived in Texas for several years after dad was remarried - came to me and said something felt wrong and she wanted to leave right away and sort out the airport runs later, even if it meant sitting in IHOP for the rest of the afternoon. M's husband, meanwhile, had offered to take a group to the airport, so we worked out the seating arrangements and trooped off to DF-W.
At the airport, we had quite awhile to wait for cousins' and niece's flights so we decided to get some supper and visit. Unfortunately, DF-W doesn't have any restaurants - at least not in the section where we were - outside the security points, so we couldn't do that. My sisters ended up picking up pizza and bringing it back to the airport, where we all sat outside for awhile till it was time for those who were flying to check in. P had realized she'd left her wallet at E's house, so called M, and M offered to meet us at a gas station so we wouldn't have to go all the way back to the house. E rode with M and my youngest sister (L) asked once again if anything was missing from the house. They assured us that no, they'd checked everything, and nothing was missing.
It turns out the reason P wanted to leave so badly is that she believes E had K search our luggage while he was alone in the house before the funeral. We had planned to leave the house at 9:15 Wednesday morning to set up a small display in the church foyer with some photographs, my dad's diploma from Wayne State, little things like that. By 9:25, M still wasn't there and E was getting antsy, since M didn't know how to get to the church. K volunteered to remain at the house and wait while the four of us went on. While we were in the car, P volunteered to call M to see what the hold-up was. E said no, that wouldn't be necessary, but P was already talking to M, who told her that she'd never intended to go to the house and was already near the church. P passed this along and E said, "Oh, that's right! What was I thinking! I remember now, M told me she'd meet us at the church, not the house." P said she'd call K and let him know he didn't have to wait. E once again said that wouldn't be necessary but before she finished, P was talking to K. He left right away and caught up to us before we reached the church. Would he look through our luggage? I don't know him that well, but P is convinced he would've without a second thought.
We weren't allowed to take any mementoes from the house. There was a book of Tennyson's poems that Uncle Lee had bought for dad once and I asked E if it would bother her terribly if I took the one book with me. Wow, she chewed me up one side and down the other for even daring to mention taking something that belonged to my dad. (And, I might add, years before he'd ever met her.) (There was also a silver tea service - not valuable, but of sentimental value, especially to my youngest sister, which came from my grandfather. The first night there, E mentioned it to L and said dad had wanted her to have it. She left the room to get it, then came back and said she'd just remembered, it was packed away in a box in the back of a closet and she'd have to ship it. But later, while P was alone with E, E opened a closest to pull out some photos and the tea set was sitting right there. E never mentioned it again and I really don't think we'll ever get any of whatever it was dad wanted us to have. Oh well, I have some family things in storage and when I get them out, we'll have to go through them and divide them up. In the long run, they're just things, that's all.)
Oh, the next day E told us her jewelry was missing, and a little later she said "they" had messed with her computers and she couldn't get on line. But she and M had already told us that they'd searched the house and nothing was missing. And my cousin and I had been online and checked the family website before we left the house Wednesday. Hard to know what to think.
So we got back late Thursday afternoon and on Friday I went to work. The next Monday I had an interview at a law firm where I'd dropped off a resume in July; the office manager called me just before dad died to tell me they'd have an opening soon and would I like to interview for it. Hmm, data entry? Legal secretary? That was a no-brainer! I worked that week at the data entry job again and the next Monday, office manager called and offered me the legal secretary job. So yay! I'm working as a legal secretary again! It's not as much money as I was asking for, but it's more that data entry was paying and I should have a review and possible raise in January. I'm hoping we might be able to move by the end of the year into our own place - that's be so nice.
I had to give three days notice at the temp (data entry) job, so on Tuesday, I called the agency and gave my notice. On Wednesday, they called me and said the client had told them I didn't need to work the final three days. Unfortunately, the law firm wasn't ready for me to start till October 1, so in the month of September, I only had one full paycheck. Ouch! (Oh, and the client "forgot" to turn in my hours for my last two days, so I had to jump through hoops to get paid for those days. Grrr.)
Tomorrow I start my third week at the law firm. So far, I like it a lot; the people are nice, the work is interesting, it's fairly calm-paced (which doesn't always happen in a law firm!) and it's more of a business-casual atmosphere as far as dress goes. Also, I get paid weekly - always nice.
So it's been a crazy six weeks and I can't believe there are less than three months till the end of the year. It's been a decent year so far (barring some obvious bad things) but highly stressful. I hope next year is a little less eventful!
With my unemployment just about to run out, I finally got a job doing data entry, second shift, for $8.40 an hour. That's actually less money that I was getting with unemployment! Still, it was more than nothing.
The second day of my job (a Friday; I started on a Thursday), my dad died and both my sisters and I, along with my brother-in-law, made a whirlwind trip to Texas for the funeral.
As far as funerals go, it was nice, if nice is a word one can use for funerals. My cousin Dave and his wife and (adult) son flew down from Michigan and my cousin Dan and his wife and (adult) daughter drove up from the Houston area, and my oldest niece flew in from college in Georgia. It was great having some blood relatives there with us; we needed that support. My step-mother (E), step-brother(K), step-sister (M) and her husband and five kids were there but we've never been close to them. (Just a little background - my mom left my dad when the three of us girls were all in our 20s. I don't think anyone really knows why, and I include my mom in that. She's since said, many times, that it was one of the worst decisions she'd ever made. Still, she made it, she married someone else, and so did my dad. Not someone we would've picked for him and honestly, I think if he'd waited a few more years, he probably would've picked someone different himself - but it wasn't, as far as I know, a bad marriage and I think he spent the last 16 years pretty happy.)
Anyway, that Monday, we met with their pastor at E's house, where we told him stories about growing up with my dad, talked about what songs to have at the funeral - and found out the E had a tape of dad singing! That was such a treat; dad sang all his life, as I think I mentioned earlier. The pastor then asked the three of us to write down some special memories so he could share them with the congregation at the funeral, and to ask the grandkids for some as well.
The viewing was Tuesday evening, by which time my Michigan cousins were there. That's when it was a real relief to have them, since so many of the Texas people didn't know us and we felt a bit on the fringes. It's hard to explain if you've never been in that situation, but it really does make a difference to have some blood relatives standing with you. (I think it might be different if you've been part of a blended family since childhood, but when you're an adult when it happens - and especially in our case, when we lived so far away and didn't see much of the step-siblings, etc. - it can be a bit awkward, even when you're trying not to let it be.) I was very reluctant to view dad's body in the coffin - it's been my experience that most people don't look very natural when they're laid out, no matter what the viewers all say as they're standing around - but the funeral home did an excellent job and he really did look like he was sleeping. In fact, it was probably the first time I'd seen him in quite awhile that he didn't have those tension lines that chronic pain lays on a person. (You get so used to seeing them that you don't notice them until they're gone.)
Tuesday evening my niece flew in and we (niece, sisters, cousins) all went to IHOP to sit up late and visit. That was very nice - in fact, the road trip itself was a lot of fun. I mentioned to my sisters that I was probably with the only people that could make a trip to my dad's funeral fun. My middle sister (P) replied, "Oh, no, any abnormal family could do it!" It makes me want to take more trips with them, only this time with the purpose of actually having fun, not having fun be sort of incidental.
The funeral was Wednesday morning, with a cold lunch at the church, then the burial in the afternoon at the National Cemetery in Dallas (E is a veteran and dad is buried in her plot). The first song (someone from the church sang the first and last song; it wasn't congregational singing - thank God! I always find that awkward and uncomfortable at a funeral) was "Love Lifted Me" (the hymn, not the Kenny Rogers song), which dad sang often around the house and occasionally as a solo at church. The minister spoke a bit, then let people in the congregation talk about dad if they wanted. (We didn't try - I'd have just stood there and cried and I'm sure my sisters and niece felt the same way.) That was great, hearing so many people say so many nice things about dad. Also, my cousin Dan spoke last. He said, "My name is Dan and Mr. B. was my uncle. I'm 56 years old, so I've known Uncle Jackie for 56 years, longer than anyone else in this room." I know it sounds a little spiteful for me to say I was glad to hear him point that out, but I was. The whole week had pretty much turned out to be all about E and she just kept talking about the past 16 years and completely ignored the fact that he was our dad for more than twice that time. (She never offered her condolences to my cousins or, for that matter, to my niece, to either of my sisters, or me. I understand she'd just lost her husband, but she seemed utterly incapable of looking beyond that fact for even a minute. In that aspect, she was completely unlike my father! Too bad that, in 16 years, none of his compassion and lack of self-centeredness managed to rub off on her. *sigh*) Anyway, Dan spoke a little further about dad going up to my Aunt Helen's house to eat supper with them sometimes when he was a teen. The next song was the tape of dad singing; the song was "There's a sweet, sweet Spirit in this place". Then the minister spoke a bit longer, there was a final song, then a final prayer and it was over.
That afternoon, after the burial, we had originally intended to stay at S-M's house till everyone who needed to be was ferried to the airport, but it got a little weird. When we got back, both my sisters and I had ridden with some of my step-nephews and -niece and got back first. The door had been left unlocked so people could get in, since we had to take several vehicles to the cemetery, and when we went to change our clothes, it was apparent that someone had been through our luggage. Nothing was missing and nothing obvious (tv, dvd player, computers, etc.) was missing from the house. When E and K got back, we told them right away. (K immediately said, "Oh, you must have been robbed." He didn't seem at all surprised. It was kind of...odd...they way he said it.) M returned then and she and E did a quick look-through and found nothing missing. At that point, P - the only one of us who's spent any amount of time with E, since she lived in Texas for several years after dad was remarried - came to me and said something felt wrong and she wanted to leave right away and sort out the airport runs later, even if it meant sitting in IHOP for the rest of the afternoon. M's husband, meanwhile, had offered to take a group to the airport, so we worked out the seating arrangements and trooped off to DF-W.
At the airport, we had quite awhile to wait for cousins' and niece's flights so we decided to get some supper and visit. Unfortunately, DF-W doesn't have any restaurants - at least not in the section where we were - outside the security points, so we couldn't do that. My sisters ended up picking up pizza and bringing it back to the airport, where we all sat outside for awhile till it was time for those who were flying to check in. P had realized she'd left her wallet at E's house, so called M, and M offered to meet us at a gas station so we wouldn't have to go all the way back to the house. E rode with M and my youngest sister (L) asked once again if anything was missing from the house. They assured us that no, they'd checked everything, and nothing was missing.
It turns out the reason P wanted to leave so badly is that she believes E had K search our luggage while he was alone in the house before the funeral. We had planned to leave the house at 9:15 Wednesday morning to set up a small display in the church foyer with some photographs, my dad's diploma from Wayne State, little things like that. By 9:25, M still wasn't there and E was getting antsy, since M didn't know how to get to the church. K volunteered to remain at the house and wait while the four of us went on. While we were in the car, P volunteered to call M to see what the hold-up was. E said no, that wouldn't be necessary, but P was already talking to M, who told her that she'd never intended to go to the house and was already near the church. P passed this along and E said, "Oh, that's right! What was I thinking! I remember now, M told me she'd meet us at the church, not the house." P said she'd call K and let him know he didn't have to wait. E once again said that wouldn't be necessary but before she finished, P was talking to K. He left right away and caught up to us before we reached the church. Would he look through our luggage? I don't know him that well, but P is convinced he would've without a second thought.
We weren't allowed to take any mementoes from the house. There was a book of Tennyson's poems that Uncle Lee had bought for dad once and I asked E if it would bother her terribly if I took the one book with me. Wow, she chewed me up one side and down the other for even daring to mention taking something that belonged to my dad. (And, I might add, years before he'd ever met her.) (There was also a silver tea service - not valuable, but of sentimental value, especially to my youngest sister, which came from my grandfather. The first night there, E mentioned it to L and said dad had wanted her to have it. She left the room to get it, then came back and said she'd just remembered, it was packed away in a box in the back of a closet and she'd have to ship it. But later, while P was alone with E, E opened a closest to pull out some photos and the tea set was sitting right there. E never mentioned it again and I really don't think we'll ever get any of whatever it was dad wanted us to have. Oh well, I have some family things in storage and when I get them out, we'll have to go through them and divide them up. In the long run, they're just things, that's all.)
Oh, the next day E told us her jewelry was missing, and a little later she said "they" had messed with her computers and she couldn't get on line. But she and M had already told us that they'd searched the house and nothing was missing. And my cousin and I had been online and checked the family website before we left the house Wednesday. Hard to know what to think.
So we got back late Thursday afternoon and on Friday I went to work. The next Monday I had an interview at a law firm where I'd dropped off a resume in July; the office manager called me just before dad died to tell me they'd have an opening soon and would I like to interview for it. Hmm, data entry? Legal secretary? That was a no-brainer! I worked that week at the data entry job again and the next Monday, office manager called and offered me the legal secretary job. So yay! I'm working as a legal secretary again! It's not as much money as I was asking for, but it's more that data entry was paying and I should have a review and possible raise in January. I'm hoping we might be able to move by the end of the year into our own place - that's be so nice.
I had to give three days notice at the temp (data entry) job, so on Tuesday, I called the agency and gave my notice. On Wednesday, they called me and said the client had told them I didn't need to work the final three days. Unfortunately, the law firm wasn't ready for me to start till October 1, so in the month of September, I only had one full paycheck. Ouch! (Oh, and the client "forgot" to turn in my hours for my last two days, so I had to jump through hoops to get paid for those days. Grrr.)
Tomorrow I start my third week at the law firm. So far, I like it a lot; the people are nice, the work is interesting, it's fairly calm-paced (which doesn't always happen in a law firm!) and it's more of a business-casual atmosphere as far as dress goes. Also, I get paid weekly - always nice.
So it's been a crazy six weeks and I can't believe there are less than three months till the end of the year. It's been a decent year so far (barring some obvious bad things) but highly stressful. I hope next year is a little less eventful!